If you already have some years in business, you are probably familiar with a situation where you are in a meeting and the discussion is not going to the direction you expect. In addition, people seem to ignore your points even if they are good ideas. Your work is not appreciated and in some cases credited to someone else, like it was not YOU who brought that idea or suggestion on the first place. How do you feel? ... frustrated … angry … disappointed … something else? What are your thoughts? … ‘’They do this on purpose to keep my work in the shadow’’… ‘’I knew it! They don’t like me’’ … ‘’None listens to me’’ … or even ‘’I’m not good enough, I will never succeed’’ … it sucks, right?
So what do you do? How can you change the situation on your favor?
- Self – check always first 😊 Do I want to get out of this feeling and change the situation or I need to talk again and again about how misfortunate I am to work with those people? It’s important to remember that I DO have the right to choose. Even if I see myself more into the first approach it’s absolutely OK! It means that feeling that I’m the ‘’victim’’ in the story it’s serving me on something that perhaps I would like to explore further (eg. Since others are ‘’bad’’, it’s not my responsibility so I cannot do anything about it)
- Don’t take it personally. Let’s assume that on above ‘’self – check’’ you decided you want to change the situation (that is the difficult path, appreciate yourself for the courage! 😊). As humans we all have similar needs, so what you perceive as ‘’attack to you’’ is probably a need that the other people are targeting to satisfy that is not relevant to you but them (eg they want to get a promotion, a huge discount or ‘’feed’’ their ego). How do you feel now knowing that is not about you? … Is it a bit better? Let’s go to the next step 😊
- Understand. Most of the problems in business (and in life of course 😊) happen because we refuse to try to see reality from others perspective with good intention and open heart. What is important for them? What is their fear or their need? ... So in a situation like the one we are discussing here, did you spend some time exploring and understanding the way of thinking and the goals of the others? Objective here is not to be ‘’Mother Teresa’’, but to be able to ‘’talk their language’’. Only if you have a good understanding of what is important for them you will be able to build your approach in a way that its understood and appreciated. Would you like to try it?
- Communicate to collaborate. The way we communicate our messages is catalytic for the outcome. Think about these 2 phrases: ‘’This is what we must do in this case! I have a lot of experience in situations like these so you need to follow what I’m saying otherwise you will fail.’’ And ‘’ Based on my experience I would recommend going this direction. What do you think? What are your suggestions? I know you have a lot of great ideas too and I’m sure that if we work all together, we will find the best solution’’. Appreciating others and acknowledging their good intention and contribution will help them be more open and supportive to what you are saying, don’t you think?